biye
We're just back from the biye...back so early because we walked out...it was a sore disappointment...Islamically...she was on stage....no hijab...the hall was filled with men women mixed. I hope no other person affiliated with our org has such wedding...i wouldn't go...also, I heard that on the gaye holud night, they put on music and had dancing after we (the hijabis) left!
posted by »|m|u|n|i|r|a|« at 8/15/2005 09:59:00 pm
15 Comments:
I was going to ask u guys how the biye was. But thank you for posting up something about it. U no wat, to tell u the truth I have NEVER been to an islamically segregated wedding in my life! But insha Allah, like u, I do pray that all the girls in YMSA do have proper islamic weddings when it's time.
I also wanted to say another thing. Flynn mentioned 2 me that Rumana wanted a segregated wedding but her parents organised everything. And I guess being young and the oldest child, the parents wanted to do everything in a way that would be memorable to them. U get what i'm saying? Plus, I'm not saying that we should be accepting this but rather not blame the bride too much because a lot of it would be very hard to change - I'm sure we would all agree with that the moment we begin to think what things would have been like if we were in her shoes.
I just had that experience last week at my bro's wedding. It was pretty disappointing to see all the DJs come and eventually a dance and then we figured that that's how it goes here in the NY bengai community. That's when you have to upset the organizer and walk out or do something. It's very scary. And I agree with iishii. I have not seen one single segragated wedding in the bangl;adeshi community. It's almost like an impossibility. I hope things get better for us;
I agree iishii but the least the bride could do was be unhappy about it...
I haven't been to that many either...but seriously you're better off without them. As for your cousins, when you go back to bangladesh, you can ask them to have a joint wedding reception...with their kids and all. I assume some would have kids by now, right?
i've been to only 2 weddings after i came here. one bengali (gaye holud, didnt go to the actual wedding), and one arabic. bangladeshi-r ta hoisilo orokomi. hindi music-e nach gaan. chele meye shob ekshathe. alhamdulillah, the actual wedding tate jaini, i heard all the guys and the girls were dancing together, american way. ar je arabic tate gesilam. it was segregated. meyera ek ghore anondo korlo, ar chelera arek ghore. okhane shobai muslim chilo, ar religious. i didnt see how the bride came from outside. i dont actually remember. amar mone hoi, ekta moving changing room type of thing dekhsilam. thik mone nai, maybe not. but what i was was, she was covered completely with this white shawl completely. you could see nothing. and then she came in the room, and took that off. then we saw, she was wearing this hood thingy. you know little red ridinghodd. except it was really long. and it covered everything. and then when she took that off, she was wearing a sleevless white wedding gown. american style-er. she looked really pretty mashaallah. and then the groom came in. they took some pix. then he left the room. tarpor shobai hijaab khule fello. ekekjoner shaja goja hoisilo dekhar moto. hijaaber niche je eto shundor shundor mohila chilo, na dekhle bishshash kora jaina. tobe oder dress-er hal ta chilo ekebare americander moto. onekei choto choto dress. sleepless, strapless. make up, perfect hair, nails. tarpor music chere dilo, shobai mile dance korte laglo. even the bride. thats what happened through the whole thing. mukhe hooloo dise, ar dance korse. belly dance, and diff kinds of dances. one is where they just move their hands. lol. anyways, that was my experience with the arabic wedding. to tell you the truth, i've never seen wedding done the complete islamic way. arabic one had music, and bad dresses. and bengali.......dont even wanna mention it.
from the 2 weddings your went to, I liked the sound of the Arabic one better, even if they had skimpy dresses, it wans't infront of men, only women! And Arabic music, if its only daff, ok but non-halal instuments no no...
in our weddings, we should play zain bhikha, dawud w ali and yusuf islam songs. Whatdya all think?
We need some1 to demonstrate how a proper islamic wedding should be done. Note that i am not being sarcastic or joking in any way. Insha Allah when one of the older apus do get marries (hope its soon) we will all get 2 c how it shud be done. And playing nasheeds is a great idea nira apu.
OMG Mou, I went to a lebanese weding and it was EXACTLY like the 1 u went to. Ammu made anika and me wear shari - i felt so odd coz everyone was wearing short dresses and clothes u'd wear 2 a formal/prom. But there was so much food! Jiboneo eto khabar dekhi ni. But my mum was inspired by it and said she liked it how it was seregated, yay! alhamdulillah!
lol thats good....sari is a sea of skimpy dresses! thats was probably the most modest attire eh?
hey guys i have another idea for the oldies (who are old enough to get married). it kind of a grammo style. dont know if you'd wanna do it. ammu-r kache shunsi, je biyer ager rate, or before that, ek rate, shobai meye joro hoito ar git gaito. lol. ar shukh dukhkher kotha bolto. lol. but i think that would be kind of fun. so think about it.
hey that would be fun except there'd probably be too much work to get done instead of doing that!
i went to nearly all of my mamas and khalas and cousins weddings. They were half segragated.. so the men and the women sat in different halls, but people still hung around the doors and stuff, so the hijabi women still had to cover up properly. Neither side of my family is properly practising, but they never had music in their weddings for some reason.
I love the idea of girls getting 2getha and singing - no music of course. We do it all the time - u gotta remember, i'm in a house that has 4 women and 1 man, haha. So we have a lot of gono shongit (as ammu calls it). We always burst into songs at home. It's quite fun. And even at dawats sometimes, all the girls are together, so we all jusy randomly start singing - khub moja hoy!
LOL okay okay hmmmm.....
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