If I'm feeling down and out, If I'm feeling blue :(
I've begun feeling depressed right after a happy event. It's been like this the past few days. My back hurts....like hell. I suspect most of it is due to sitting in front of the computer for long hours. Don't ask me what I've been doing. I've been wondering like a lost soul.....tormented.....agonised......hungry...unsatisfied..... Yet I cannot afford the luxury of wallowing in self-pity.....there is prenty of work awaiting my attention.
I've been digging through my stuff......stories.....poems, diary, scraps that were meant to be part of a scrap-book which was never made.......all neglected......unfinished......incomlplete.....in utter decay *sigh* Instead of solace, my gain was a deep sense of failure.......bygone times and opportunites, plans and drafts of things I never ended up doing......I'm feeling very old.......though I have no preparation for drawing a conclusion.
I've been laughing a lot these days.......empty cackles reflecting the vaccum within.......my back is hurting some more.......why does it take so much effort to share your joy? I can't stand your happiness.....in which I have no part....of which I am deprived. My woes no longer derive any response from you. I understand that you're sick of me. I have lost your sympathy. Yet, without it..................
I've been digging through my stuff......stories.....poems, diary, scraps that were meant to be part of a scrap-book which was never made.......all neglected......unfinished......incomlplete.....in utter decay *sigh* Instead of solace, my gain was a deep sense of failure.......bygone times and opportunites, plans and drafts of things I never ended up doing......I'm feeling very old.......though I have no preparation for drawing a conclusion.
I've been laughing a lot these days.......empty cackles reflecting the vaccum within.......my back is hurting some more.......why does it take so much effort to share your joy? I can't stand your happiness.....in which I have no part....of which I am deprived. My woes no longer derive any response from you. I understand that you're sick of me. I have lost your sympathy. Yet, without it..................
posted by »|m|u|n|i|r|a|« at 6/18/2005 10:23:00 pm
16 Comments:
emu, there's no point in asking me about this, but you can spare some sympathy, can't you?
Nira apu, ami ki thik shunchi? Ur deppressed? This is very scary 4 me, coz I always thought u of all ppl wont ever be deppressed. Ami to shob shomoi deppressed, lol (jkz) so nothing 2 worri abt wen im sad kintu u?
Well, I can spare sympathy and may be some advice - even tho i no wat works on me usually doesnt work on any1 else :P
1. Read lots and lots of Quran
2. Pray tahajjud and other nawafil
Tomake religious advice dite weird lage coz u no all this so i'll give other advice.
3. Spend lots of time with family
4. Go out to places (in my break I'm out almost everyday coz I know staying home alone will be deppressing)
5. have fun outings, even if ur the only 1 there.
6. Cook and sew and do other creative stuff
I know u dont have time 4 all this coz of uni work but whever u do, just relax, get some1 to massage ur back (I get ammu, abbu or anika 2 do it :P). Wen i'm deppressed, i spend HEAPS of time with Anika: I take her shopping, we go watch a movie, we visit ppl, cook, and lotsa other stuff. It usually works. So try some of em :D
thanks, I'm not sure all thinse things are accessible to me but I'll try to do the ones that are!
I feel like an idiot now for posting that msg. You see, everyone expects me to be stong, solid-rock, not burnded with ordinary human problems and emotions. It's difficult. I'm really not different from everyone else!
Not diferrent from the rest of us??
Oh dear, this requires a total reconstruction of my cognitive systems now M. Apu. Boggles the mind to think that YOU are NOT different!
(note the sarcasm, please).
Hey, we all have our sine waves... for some of us, the wavelength is a little shorter...right Ishi??
Ashes, as we speak, is going into one of her chronic cardiac arrests... Nira? Not unlike the rest of us? Dear god... what shall we see next- elephants riding on horseback?
that's right! didn't think I could expect any sympathies from you! So yeah, I noted your sarcasm 'dheki shorge gelei dhan vane'
was poor ashes, i can only say 'poor thing!'
lol, i really like the proverb mapu. well, i shall make an attempt at sympathising: 'there, there'. now for a single advice - Meditate!! it works. i'm not very good at it, but it does u some good. just lie back (not just sit back, leave that to the frequent meditators), clear ur mind and bring in one string of thought at a time.
...i feel like i'm repeating what fish said
*lol* does this really work? I've always held the idea of 'meditation' at somewhat comtempt! I'll give it a try.
Trust me, it helps. I myself meditate when in a red-raged anger type situation. These days, I don't even lie down or close my eyes... just drift off, achieve a complete blankness of mind, then string in 1 thought at a time. Works...I tell ya, it really does.
i had the same feeling towards meditation b4 i tried it, mapu. do u know where i did my first successful meditation?... under my bed (when it wasn't filled with a big suitcase and a whole lot of junk yet).
can't believe I'm atking advice from weirdos!
Wow...I've never gone as far as UNDER my bed. On TOP of it should be just fine, M. Apu...
BTW, did I mention to u ppl that I don't have a bed????
AHAHAHAHA!! That's funny! No bed!
Good one M. Apu!
You're kidding me right?
no I'm absolutely serious! Ask anyone if you don't believe me. I sleep of two 3cm thick (VERY THIN)matresses piled on each other.
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